I’m upset.

I am so hurt right now..upset at myself for allowing people to constantly treat me like pure trash. I’m upset that I’m always the one apologizing to people for the common sense things that they don’t realize hurt me, which in turn makes me react in a certain way. I’m upset that I’m constantly being put down by people for not opening up or getting close to them when whenever I do open up I am put down or judged for being myself.(And then I have to apologize for not saying how I feel at the appropriate time.) I’m upset that many don’t realize how great I was to them until it’s all over, instead of realizing it while I’m there. I’m upset that I’m alway being called conceited, self centered, or egotistical because I elevate myself because I guess in the eyes of other it’s wrong to love yourself- since no one else knows how to properly do it for me–My love language is WORDS OF FRICKING AFFIRMATIONS. I’m upset at myself for chasing men who could never see me or my potential, when I’ve always accepted them for exactly who they were..whether they had nothing or alot through the good and the bad. I’m upset that I allow certain behaviors to persist because I choose to highlight the good in people and put the bad to the side. I’m upset for loving people who didnt have enough patience to truly love me. I’m upset that I allow myself to lash out in ways that don’t benefit me. I’m upset that I’m always there for the people I care for, but when I need someone there for me there is no one anywhere to be found. I’m upset that I feel the loneliest when I am around people, because they just dont get me or try to( or when they try to, they give up because they can’t handle it). I’m upset that people just think that I have no feelings because I choose not to express them. I’m not perfect and I know and understand the things I do wrong, but it upsets me that I am always the one to have all the blame placed on me whenever anything goes wrong because the people around me fail to realize that ooh, she is quieter than usual, not talking to me or texting me so maybe there is something that I did wrong and maybe I should go ask her. I dont know, I’m probably upset at other things but can’t think of them. I’m done.


2 thoughts on “I’m upset.

  1. People can be frustrating. I am learning to set up boundaries to preserve who I am and to not get caught up in the destructive behavior of those around me. I am learning that I should not let other people define who I am. You are in my prayers.

    1. I am learning the same, It has been a long journey.. but I’m here. Thank you, I really appreciate that. ❤

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