I wish I could say that I have friendships that have stemmed from my childhood, or even friendships that I’ve had for an x amount of years, but unfortunately I can only say that for two people in my life.The topic of friendship is a tricky thing for me, I guess I’ll have to start with what I consider a friend to be. I’ll start by saying, someone who is honest of course, someone who is loyal, who is supportive, adventurous, generous, selfless, kind, a great listener and genuine. Sounds to good to be true, right? Yeah, I know. In past years, I’ve found that many of my potential friendships have failed to flourish due to a lacking in certain or all areas . Maybe that’s God’s way of showing me that I once had great and amazing friendships that I should have fought harder to keep.
Side bar: I do have some really great friends who I love, I’m speaking on a broad spectrum of people who I come across and would consider as a candidate for a friend, but later on get disappointed. Friendships used to be something that I cherished and found solus in, but after a series of back to back disappointments, I’ve found myself not caring at all about cultivating new friendships or even getting closer to the ones I already have. Seclusion has become my friend. Who can I really blame besides myself? Are my expectations too high or is my patience too low? I’ve pushed away those amazing ones who were constantly fighting for me. All in all, I know this behavior isn’t healthy and I could wholeheartedly say that I haven’t been myself or acting like the friends I wanted for years. I pray that I am able to search within my self and find the patience I need to keep fighting for those I care about.God help me.
Whoever walks with the wise, becomes wise. But the companions of fools will suffer harm.